dear pacific day, won't you take me away?
by Cela Fille
Summary: because all you really want is for him to be happy, even if he's the douche who broke your heart, and even if it's not with you :: oneshot ::


I'm on a posting spree right now.

And I'm sorry for not updating "If the World is Ending, We're Throwing the Party"- even though I know what's going to happen, I've hit a kinda-writer's bock on how to lead up to it.

Another note- **I cannot stand it when people favorite fics without reviewing them. **Honestly, I'd rather get a nice, long review (even with CC) than having people just favorite it without saying anything. Because if you obviously like this story enough to fave it, is it really that hard to spend a couple of seconds saying why you liked it? Writers- me, included- really spend a lot of time and effort into these fics and we like to hear feedback (good or bad, whatever). I'm sure everyone else agrees with me :D

So please, review.

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**dear pacific day, won't you take me away?**

_This is the hardest story that I've ever told  
No hope, or love, or glory  
Happy endings gone forever more  
I feel as if I'm wasted  
And I'm wastin' every day_

- Happy Ending, Mika

For a while, he's just _that guy_.

That guy who sits in front of you in Bio, the one who cracks stupid jokes that make everyone in the class roll their eyes, the one that asks so many questions, you just want to stab him with the tip of your mechanical pencil until he realizes that everyone is desperate to get to lunch and does not care whether or not ATP synthase occurs in the stroma or not.

Then you actually begin to notice him.

You notice the way his tousled, dirty-blonde hair catches the light and practically shimmers under the fluorescent glow of the classroom lights, his winsome, easy smile that seems to perpetually grace his face, the way his lean muscle flexes when he leans back in his chair.

You're hooked.

-x-

Your grades take a nosedive because you're suddenly more worried about what outfit to wear for fourth period than cramming for the latest cell respiration test, because that's the only class you have with him and sooner or later, he would have to notice you.

So you make sure every chestnut curl is in place, that the tangle of gold bangles that engulf your tiny wrists catch the light and jingle, that your eyes are outlined perfectly with an extra swipe of voluminizing mascara, just for that split second that he may glance in your direction.

So when he turns around that day and shoots you that grin that makes all the air from your lungs escape and opens his mouth, you fight the urge to just jump him then and there because that would be creepy and Massie Block does not do creepy.

"Um, do you have a pencil I could borrow?" he asks, swinging his Nike-clad feet back and forth. You squeak an incomprehensible response and he raises a golden brow while you quickly shift through your purple Hello Kitty pencil bag. He makes an impatient noise as you begin to feel sweat beads forming at the back of your neck and fumble for that specific pencil.

"Here," you manage to mumble and thrust the monogrammed "M.B" mechanical pencil into his hand. He nods in thanks before turning back to the PowerPoint slides your teacher is showing and bends over his notebook to scribble down some notes.

You smile for a moment before returning to your own notes.

Because whenever he looked at that pencil, it would remind him of you.

-x-

You arrive at Bio five minutes early everyday because he does.

"Hey... Massie, right?" he says, glancing your way as he slides into the seat beside you and butterflies erupt in the pit of your stomach because he's sitting so close and the room's so empty and this is the first time he's started a real conversation with you.

"Yeah," you stutter and frenziedly comb your mind for something intelligent to say. "So, um, that quiz was, like, mad hard, don't you think?"

"Totally," he agrees, nodding in assent. "I mean, everything's so application-oriented. Completely blew it. I might have even gotten an eighty," he drops his voice to an embarrassed whisper and you nod stiffly. Considering you were barely scraping a seventy in that class, an eighty was something you'd kill for. But the irritation and annoyance dissipates instantly when he grins at you in that intoxicatingly sweet way and leans in closer. "You know, maybe we should study together sometime?" he suggests and you bite your lip to stop yourself from squealing.

You're practically about to faint from euphoria and he opens his mouth to say something else, when suddenly the door swings open and a breathless blonde stands in the doorway, cheeks flushed prettily from the biting autumn wind.

"Claire?" he says in a completely different voice and looks at her in a way that makes your heart sink and stomach acid churn unpleasantly in your system.

"Ohmigod, Derrick? You're in this Bio class too? My schedule got screwed up and now I'm switching in!" she squeals and her waist-length gold-streaked waves fall messily (and to make things worse, she's one of those girls who can rock the bed-head look like it's no one's business) past her shoulders as she snags the seat on his other side and begins jabbering away about some party they both were at during the weekend, and he's completely ignoring you again.

None of your friends quite understand why you hold such a fierce grudge against Claire Lyons.

-x-

Normally you don't give up so easily, but who in their right minds would choose you when bubbly blonde perfection was twisted into the lithe, fairy-like form that was Claire Lyons?

But your silent admission of defeat does not stop you from shooting daggers into the blonde's stupid little head when he puts his arms around her to try to steal back his iPod or when their hands brush (_unintentionally_, you repeat to yourself like a mantra) when she passes him a pencil with "Property of C.L" embossed onto the side.

But when the two of them sprint into class fifteen seconds late, faces flushed and flustered, even you can deduce why she's so pink and why he has that goofy smile plastered on his pretty-boy face.

You've accepted their undeniable attraction, but it still kills you.

-x-

It's pointless to pretend otherwise, but a tiny shard of hope still clings to you, preventing you from liking any other guy.

You watch passively with a sulk when Claire giggles nervously as the two of them bend over the rat they are supposed to dissect.

"Um, Massie, you want to help me out here?"

You whip around to glare at Todd as he shrinks visibly from the intensity. You sigh and soften as the poor boy drops the scalpel onto the tiled floor with a loud _clang. _

"Why does your cousin have to be so..." you struggle to find the right word and he smiles understandingly.

"So blonde? So perky? So _Claire? _Yeah, I get it," he says with an easy-going grin and you feel a rush of gratitude sweep through you.

"Exactly! You know, brunettes can be just as fun as blondes! And we're smarter..." you add as an afterthought, frowning as you think of the shy blush that passed over Claire's cheeks when Derrick gave her a congratulatory hug for getting 101% on the last quiz and the sinking disappointment you felt when you saw all the red slashes through the majority of the problems on your own quiz. Todd laughs and for a moment, a flash of potential hotness streaks across his face, before he adjusts his glasses and it's gone. But you're thankful and would do anything for that boy, because when he laughed, you actually managed to forget about Derrick for a couple of seconds.

-x-

It all came down to a Facebook notification. You usually just skim through them, or don't bother reading at all, but the words Claire Lyons **is now in a relationship with** Josh Hotz, catch your eye and cause you to squeal with frenzied glee, because this just confirmed it- you still had a chance.

-x-

They're no longer lab partners.

And even though you're ecstatic that Claire works with her soccer-team friend Layne Abeley and Derrick now partners up with Chris Plovert, it kills you inside to see the way he still looks at her with something indescribable in his warm, caramel-colored eyes. The way you'd watch fireflies zoom through the warm summer air, or the sight of the first snowfall in winter- staring as though she was something delicate and precious- something beautiful and unattainable.

You stare at him staring at her and wonder why he can't seem to let go.

-x-

He asks you out a couple of days later.

It catches you guard completely because one moment, you're just sitting there and studying for the next test with the rest of your study group, and the next, he's leaned over and asked you in a low voice if you'd like to go to get some coffee with him later.

You can't nod fast enough, even though the word _rebound _repeats painfully in your head as you see him glance at Claire's confused and slightly upset face with a hint of satisfaction.

You like him too much to mind being used.

-x-

What started off as a date ended horribly because you had hoped that you'd be able to woo him over hot chocolate and caramel apple crumble cake in Starbucks, but he's shown no interest in anything except when the door opens and he looks hopefully for a certain navy-eyed blonde.

The conversation is tense and disjointed when suddenly she walks in with that Josh Hotz guy (he's gorgeous and from what you've heard, a fantastic kisser) hand-in-hand, and Derrick looks at you, panicked, before grabbing your hand and pulling you into a kiss.

It's hard and firm, but his lips are soft and you can't help but enjoy it (love it, even), even though you know he's just trying to make her jealous.

When he finally (10 _Mississippis_ later) pulls away, he immediately looks over to the counter, where Claire and Josh are laughing over something he said, and she leans in toward him, placing a chaste kiss on his cheek as they make their way to a cozy alcove, with his arm wrapped securely around her slim waist. The look on Derrick's face is so defeated and heart-breaking, you just want to stab Claire with a spork until she realizes how lucky she is for having the boy you're almost convinced that you love wrapped around her manicured finger.

He mumbles something about having to go pick up his sister from school and gives you a brief, empty smile before slapping a few bills onto the table and walking out the door.

You stare at the empty seat and half-eaten cake and will yourself not to cry.

-x-

Days fade into weeks, and you're almost over Derrick Harrington.

You sit in a different seat in Biology now- one where you have no view of his perfect blonde head. You sit and study with Todd now, who is both shy and quirky and you can't help but giggle at when he tries in a hundred different ways to make you laugh.

They both look depressed as hell nowadays, with Derrick simply mumbling off answers to questions and Claire looking so tired, but any sick pleasure you got from her pain is gone.

Because now all you want for Derrick is to be happy, even if he was the douchebag who broke your heart, and even if it's not with you.

-x-

It's Blue and Silver, the most important formal dance of the year, and you've come with Todd (_just as friends_, you assure everyone who asks). He's gone to get some punch and you're sitting alone, so when Derrick approaches you with that sheepish smile on his face, looking (though you hate to admit it) sexy in his blazer and khakis and asks you politely if you want to dance, even though your mind is screaming for you to say no, your heart has different plans and you find yourself wrapped in his arms, rocking gently back and forth to the lulling slow song in the background.

"I wanted to apologize," he whispers in your ear and the feel of his hot breath on your skin makes you shudder involuntarily. "For being such a dick at Starbucks that day. I was in a crappy mood and I'm sorry I just left with no explanation. It's just..." He averts his gaze from you to someone a few feet behind you and even without turning, you know who it is. "I love her. I love her so freaking much, it's just crazy. I know it's stupid to chase after someone who doesn't care about you in the same way, but I just can't stop, you know?"

The words hit too close to home and you nod slowly, blinking back unexpected tears. He doesn't notice and continues to bite his bottom lip in that intoxicatingly sweet way.

"How do you mend a broken heart?" he asks, finally settling his questioning gaze back on your miraculously dry face. You ponder for a moment, wondering what to say before answering,

"Forget about the person who broke it."

"Is that even possible?"

You sigh, almost inaudibly, feeling like your heart is being ripped out and stabbed when you see him looking longingly at Claire, who looks breath-taking in her navy velvet gown with silver sequins that glitter like stars, getting spun in the arms of Josh.

"No, it isn't."

-x-

He's just a friend now and when you see him in the hallways, laughing and joking around with his friends, you manage to quell the butterflies and smile blandly at the tall redhead boy beside you, who carries your books and looks at you in a way Derrick never managed to.

"Ready for Bio, Mass?" Todd asks, an easy, carefree grin on his face that makes _you _grin and you nod before slipping your fingers between his calloused ones.

Because even though you still feel vulnerable from the past heartbreak, even though Derrick Harrington would never see you as anything more than a friend, you, Massie Block, were finally with someone who loved you. Finally got your happily-ever-after.

* * *

**R-E-V-I-E-W**

Do it.


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